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The Most ABSurd Blog
Do people actually know ANYthing about the stuff they buy?
Most people know less about olive oil than a loaf of bread knows about gluten—and that’s kind of how marketing works.
Cover Brand: Still Space, Camp
Turns out the market isn’t full — your mindset is; Ethan and Julianna unpack what “saturation” really means and why there’s always more room at the top.
If McDonald’s sucks so bad, why is it so massive?
McDonald’s proves you don’t have to be loved to be massive—just easy to find and hard to screw up.
Cover Brand: Brand Character
Ethan Decker sits down with Michele Blazier of Bishop Fox to talk rebrands, mascots, and how to make your brand more human—and unforgettable.
On Brand Ep. 1: Dunkin’, Jimmy Fallon & the Absurdity Olympics of Branding
Surprise! Cover Brand kicks off a side-series where Laura Dodds and Ethan break down Jimmy Fallon’s new brand reality show—Dunkin’ pitches, cringe moments, and why smart still beats loud.
Does the new GLP-1 market follow brand laws?
Like, when a new category pops the world, does it follow brand laws, or is it wonky?
Cover Brand: Authenticity Paradox
On this episode of Cover Brand, Ethan sits down with my friend and AI consultant Carl Roose to explore how brands can stay authentic in an age when AI makes ‘authenticity’ slippery.
What's going on with small brands?
The NBD-Dirichlet nails how markets work—except when it comes to small brands, where the ‘laws’ start to wobble.
Cover Brand: Branding Innovation
Ethan sits down with Billy Otteman of Scythe Robotics to dig into the branding challenges of disruptive tech—and how to turn robot lawn mowers into a story people actually buy.
Why is it useful to think about a “spherical shopper”?
The NBD-Dirichlet may be math-y and full of wild assumptions, but it’s the model that explains how shoppers and brands actually behave.
Cover Brand: Tamales to Tito’s
Ethan sits down with my friend Guillermo Saenz to unpack brand science for small business owners—cutting through jargon with real stories and practical strategies you can use from the kitchen table up.
If you brand a placebo, does it work better?
In a classic study of 835 women with headaches, researchers found that even placebos work better when they’re branded.
Cover Brand: New Brand Haircut
Arissa Kirkland of Bishop Fox joins me to unpack the real lessons of rebranding—when to refresh, how to stay authentic, and how not to pull a Tropicana.
If they’re “loyal buyers”, why do they churn so much?
Pointer Media tracked 32 million shoppers and found a paradox: brands churn through their most ‘loyal’ customers every year—yet market share barely budges.
Cover Brand: The New Familiar
How do you keep your brand fresh enough to surprise without veering into chaos—and what can Oreo, KFC, and Sephora teach us about walking that tightrope?
Is there such a thing as a “loyalty crisis”?
Can a brand really lose its ‘loyalists’ without losing everyone else? Turns out 32 million shoppers and 658 brands say nope.
Cover Brand: Revelant to the Elephant
Drew Bonder joins Ethan to show how brands stick—through story, emotion, and creativity that turns precision into magnetic connection.
Which metrics are traps, and which are treasures?
With 525,600 marketing metrics out there, here’s the simple way to spot which ones matter—and which are a waste.